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Attachment is a strong, emotional bond that you share with others, with regards to how close, secure, and comfortable you feel in their presence. In this test, you will be given an idea of your attachment style. Your attachment is usually influenced by your early experiences of relationships and can affect your communication with others, how you view yourself and others, and how you manage your social bonds. Knowing your attachment style can be important to improving the bonds and connections you share with others.
Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment
Your dominant atachment style is Anxious/Ambivalent
What is it?
Secure attachment style is one where you are able to form secure, meaningful and loving relationships with others. This is the ideal attachment style needed to enjoy healthy boundaries, be able to have a strong sense of self and build healthy relationships. When you have a secure attachment style, you have a positive perception of yourself and your capabilities and also feel safe and confident in the world around you.
Where does it come from?
Secure Attachment style comes from having guardians or parents who were attuned to your emotional and physical needs and consistently provided unconditional care and affection to you growing up. It is important for a child to feel physically and emotionally safe in their environment consistently for them to grow into this attachment style as an adult.
How does it affect your life?
When you have a secure attachment style, you are able to build healthy and nurturing relationships with others while having a positive view of self, place your trust in others and communicate your needs to others at a personal and professional capacity and therefore, maintain healthy work-life and interpersonal boundaries. You tend to have greater confidence, better balance and choices in relationships, and the ability to both give and receive love.
If you have a Secure Attachment Style, you will:
What is it?
Anxious/ambivalent attachment style is one where you are highly anxious and uncertain about the bonds that you form with others. Anxious attachment style emerges from the fear of being abandoned or hurt by those around you. This attachment style gives you a positive view of the world, but a negative perception of self.
Where does it come from?
Anxious Attachment Style stems from having caregivers who were inconsistent with their affection and attention - sometimes they were available for the child, while other times they weren’t, leaving the child confused about when needs will be met and they’ll receive love and when they won’t. The underlying belief that is formed is that you can want love but fear that it won't always be available leading to the belief that this is how everybody in the world will behave with you.
How does it affect your life?
When you have anxious attachment, you tend to worry constantly about what other people think, if they accept you, if things are going well, leading to a lot of unnecessary conflicts between you and your friends/partner. You can be overly invested in your interpersonal relationships, making the other person the centre of attention and neglecting your own needs, derive your self-worth from their relationships, and be perceived as needy and demanding. You may struggle with saying no and can be accommodating at the cost of your own wants and desires - the more you do this, the more you feel dissatisfied in your relationships.
If you have a Secure Attachment Style, you will:
What is it?
Avoidant/Dismissive attachment style is one where you may be emotionally unavailable and withdrawn from others stemming from a fear of being hurt by the same people who show care and affection. This attachment style leads to you going out of your way to be self-sufficient and do things on their own, therefore, ending up distancing close people over time.
Where does it come from?
This attachment style stems from childhood neglect, having had unsupportive, early relationships with parents, friends, and others. Children who are criticised, hit, humiliated or neglected grow into this attachment style. Feeling hurt by people who were supposed to care for them, these adults fear loving relationships because they expect to be hurt by them too and push people away, thereby building mostly unsatisfactory relationships in life. If you grew up around chaotic, neglectful or hurtful environments, you are more likely to have this attachment style.
How does it affect your life?
When you have this attachment style, you can withdraw from intimate relationships leading to unsatisfying and chaotic romantic relationships. You will tend to believe that others are not trustworthy and either unwilling or incapable of loving you for who you are. It is difficult for you to get close to others and be vulnerable. In adult relationships, you withdraw from people and actively avoid bonding with them, leading to them either sabotaging the relationship or isolating yourself when you get close to somebody.
If you have a Avoidant Attachment Style, you will:
What is it?
Fearful/disorganised attachment is one where people often experience feelings of rejection and have low self esteem. This attachment style leads to you feeling dependent on others and experiencing high levels of anxiety in your relationships - you are afraid of and at the same time accepting of hurt from intimate relationships.
Where does it come from?
This attachment style stems from childhood neglect and abuse such as not being paid enough attention to, being physically or emotionally hurt as a child and/or experiencing hostile environments. Adults may often send confusing messages to a child like “can you clean this room” to “you’re not doing it right, I can’t expect any help from you.” Such double bind messages make the situation impossible for the child to accomplish and make them feel nothing they do is right. As an adult, you may see more problems as unsolvable and find yourself feeling not “good enough” to manage it by yourself. You may grow up to withdraw from situations and believe you don’t have control over them.
How does it affect your life?
When you have a disorganised attachment style, you will find it difficult to maintain stable relationships and can often find yourself in abusive and chaotic relationships. You tend to avoid conflicts, sabotage healthy relationships and find it very difficult to understand and regulate your own emotions. You may struggle with expressing what you need and have a disorganised or fragmented idea of who you are and what you like or need.
If you have a disorganised attachment style, you will:
Your dominant attachment style right now is Anxious/Ambivalent This means you mostly build and maintain relationships using this attachment style.
You are 17.86% secure in your relationships as of now.
To build safe and secure relationships, you can reach out for care and support. A relationship expert would support you with managing your relationship with self and regulating hurt from the past to allow you to increase your secure attachment style and build nurturing relationships.
Based on your needs, we recommend 8 sessions to unshackle yourself from the past and move towards a stable and satisfying future.
Help is available! Build nurturing relationships and take charge of your own behaviours with the assisstance of our relationship experts!
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