Beyond the Bindi – The Hidden Battles of Desi Daughters

clock 7 Min Read


Sept 21,2023

Growing up female in a traditional desi household makes facing Darth Vader seem breezy. Just kidding! Or not.

The pressure to be the perfect bahu, beti, and behen takes a toll on young women’s mental health. At Heart It Out, we see them silently bearing exhaustion, anxiety, and trauma while putting on a smile.

Behind those smiling Instagram photos is a sisterhood bravely battling expectations and judgements every damn day. Well, bottling up emotions never helped anyone. Consider this your sign to prioritise emotional well-being - without guilt.

Still unfamiliar? Read on for some insight.

Let's Get Real About The Issues Plaguing Young Indian Women

Grab some Chai and empathy as we dive into the muck.

· The "Beta" Complex

Congratulations, parents! It's a boy! Let the pampering commence. Meanwhile, the girl child gets ready to fight for basic fairness. Preferential treatment starts young.

Brothers get the best of everything - toys, clothes, and the freedom to play. Sisters? Enslaved to household chores.

As adults, the son rises to golden boy status. A wife? Optional. The daughter must marry a stranger her parents chose, and slave away cooking-cleaning-pleasing new in-laws. Because beti toh paraya dhan hoti hai. Ugh, spare me.

Solution? Therapy!! Therapy provides perspective on unhealthy patterns. Healing those feelings of injustice helps develop a strong sense of self-worth.

· Caged Parrots

"Don't talk to boys. Don't wear short skirts. Don't come home after dark." Young women get policed harder than politicians on election night. God forbid she wants a life beyond household drudgery.

A lil' financial freedom? Friendships? Solo travel? Ha! Mummy-Papa's panicking at every step. They're determined to cage this wild parrot in the name of "values".’

· The "D" Word

Disorders? Mental health? Such words are deemed taboo in desi families! One can’t even imagine admitting anxiety and risking being branded pagal. So daughters suffer eating disorders, depression, and emotional trauma in silence. The unspoken rule is to grin and bear toxic dynamics. After all, izzat ka sawaal hai.

Therapy fights stigma. It teaches healthy coping tools, not suppression. You're not crazy for prioritising emotional well-being and speaking your truth.

· Swayamwar? You mean swayam-WAR!

"Shaadi ke liye ladka dekh rahe hain." Cue giant eye-roll from women navigating the marriage maze. Say bye to dreams as the groom-hunt begins. Judgement on looks, career, and bargaining skills commences. Future in-laws demand fair-skinned, tall, young virgins who'll pump out grandkids on demand. Yea, NO!

Counselling provides space to vent about the Madness. It helps develop self-worth beyond society's narrow notions of an ideal partner.

· #MeToo? Shhhh

Patriarchy normalises domestic abuse and marital rape in the name of family honour. Financial dependence and fear trap women in toxic relationships.

Therapy helps survivors process trauma, build support systems, and envision an empowered future. There is a life beyond abuse.

· Pregnancy Panic

"So when is the good news?" Infertility turns women into societal rejects. Invasive questions, pressure, shame, comparisons, and depression amid IVF - it takes resilient queens to cope.

Therapy provides emotional release and strength. We are so much more than our wombs.

Therapy helps survivors process trauma, build support systems, and envision an empowered future. There is a life beyond abuse.

· The Aunty Network

Managing that passive-aggressive MIL, gossiping about female relatives, and husband's issues - desi girls have endless family drama. And the emotional labour falls on us.

Counselling teaches conflict management skills. Set boundaries, improve communication, and protect mental health - without guilt. You come first.

Reclaim Your Power with the Support of Therapy

At Heart It Out, we see you for who you are! We see the light behind your eyes dimmed by expectations. The fire in your heart is fizzling under judgement. The wings longing to spread were clipped by outdated notions.

But we also see your inner strength. A spine of steel masked in silk. Our sisterhood whispers - shed society’s shackles and reclaim your power. Let therapy be the key that unlocks your magic

Heart It Out understands better than most the refuge that comes from removing the rose-coloured glasses and peering at problems through an impartial lens. Our therapists are trained to tend to the tangled threads of the mind and heart with compassionate care. A free initial meeting offers the opportunity to test the waters of conversation, with no commitment required, allowing you to discern if dialogue could be just what the doctor ordered.

Wisdom exists in knowing when it's time to accept helping hands extended in service of better wellness. We invite you to claim this chance to chat without charge, gleaning guidance about whether guidance from guides is worthwhile. Book your 20-minute consultation here! Heart It Out awaits to help you bear what burdens you alone. The journey towards joy is but a click away. Our door is open when you’re ready to fly.

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